What Are You Committed to?

One of the hardest truths we will ever face is this:

You commit to what you want to commit to.

And you don’t commit to what you don’t.

The real challenge is having the courage to know the difference…and admit it.

Not to others.

To yourself.

Because we spend a lot of time pretending.

We tell ourselves stories about what we want, what we intend to do, and who we hope to become.

Yet our actions often reveal something entirely different.

Commitment is not what we say.

Commitment is what we consistently do.

…Alcoholics commit to drinking.

…Smokers commit to smoking.

…Cheaters commit to cheating.

…Unfaithful people commit to being unfaithful.

…Food addicts commit to overeating.

…Gamblers commit to gambling.

…Victims commit to being victims.

…Warriors commit to being warriors.

…Artists commit to crafting their art.

…Angry people commit to being angry.

…Resentful people commit to being resentful.

…Good people commit to doing good things.

And so on and so forth.

None of these are moral judgments.

They are observations.

Because commitment is simply the repeated investment of our time, energy, attention, and action.

And as with everything in life, those observations must also be explored within ourselves.

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When I look back over my own life, I can see the things I have been committed to, both the things that served me and the things that didn’t.

Good or bad.

Healthy or unhealthy.

Constructive or self-defeating.

It is what it is…The truth is the truth whether we acknowledge it or not.

But the same principle applies to the things we say we want:

✔️ People who truly want to quit drinking commit to quitting drinking.

✔️ People who want to be more mindful and spiritually aligned commit to practicing their spirituality.

✔️ People who want inner peace and healing commit to doing the work required to get there.

✔️ People who want to quit smoking commit to quitting smoking.

✔️ People who want to be fit commit to being fit.

✔️ People who want to be faithful commit to being faithful.

✔️ People who want to climb a mountain commit to climbing a mountain.

✔️ People who want financial freedom commit to becoming financially healthy.

✔️ People who want to achieve their goals commit to the actions required for success.

✔️ People who want to be parents commit to parenting.

✔️ People who want a family commit to raising one.

None of this means any of it is easy.

Again: None of this means any of it is easy.

Far from it…

-Healing is hard.

-Growth is hard.

-Change is hard.

-Recovery is hard.

-Maintaining a healthy relationship is hard.

-Raising a family is hard.

-Staying faithful is hard.

Life. Takes. Work.

Commitment. Takes. Work.

But here’s the important and hard to acknowledge thing:

So does staying exactly where you are.

…Addiction takes work.

…Avoidance takes work.

…Chaos takes work.

…Self-sabotage takes work.

…Dishonesty takes work.

…Living with regret takes work.

Everything costs something. Nothing in life is free. Nothing.

The difference is that some commitments move us toward the things we want, while others keep us trapped in the things we say we don’t want.

It is only when we are willing to acknowledge the truth, when we have the courage to admit what we are actually committed to, and why, that we gain the power to choose differently.

Only then do we have the opportunity to make changes.

✨To steer left when we’ve been heading right.

✨To choose a different outcome.

✨To commit to something new and stay committed, no matter how long it takes or how difficult the journey becomes.

✨Committing to overcoming self-sabotage.

✨Committing to healthy relationships.

✨Committing to financial health.

✨Committing to overcoming addictions.

✨Committing to actualizing a dream.

✨Committing to understanding why we do the things we do.

Whatever it is.

Whatever the goal.

Whatever the obstacle.

It takes commitment.

To become committed to what we truly desire means being willing to do difficult things:

👉It means going places within ourselves we would rather avoid.

👉It means facing fears we would rather run from.

👉It means having conversations we would rather not have.

👉It means feeling emotions we would rather suppress.

👉It means taking responsibility where we would rather make excuses.

The path isn’t easy.

But neither is the alternative.

Commitment doesn’t happen instantaneously or overnight simply because you decide you want something.

Commitment is a practice.

Something that must be cultivated.

Something that must be worked on day in and day out, for as long as it takes, until you achieve what it is you are committed to achieving.

Commitment also requires discipline.

In fact, discipline is often what sustains commitment when motivation fades.

No matter what we are committed to…healthy or unhealthy, constructive or destructive…it takes discipline to continue walking that path.

…A person committed to drinking exercises discipline in finding ways to drink.

…A person committed to fitness exercises discipline in training.

…A person committed to resentment exercises discipline in rehearsing old wounds.

…A person committed to healing exercises discipline in doing the inner work.

The commitment may be different.

But the discipline required to sustain it remains the same.

Former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink is famous for the phrase:

“Discipline equals freedom.”

At first glance, that may seem contradictory.

But the more disciplined we become in our commitments, the more freedom we create in our lives.

✔️The discipline to save creates financial freedom.

✔️The discipline to communicate creates healthier relationships.

✔️The discipline to heal creates emotional freedom.

✔️The discipline to care for our bodies creates greater physical freedom.

✔️The discipline to keep our word creates integrity.

Commitment without discipline is merely intention and hope without action.

Discipline is what transforms commitment into reality.

✨Marriage.

✨Building a family.

✨Creating a business.

✨Healing from trauma.

✨Actualizing a dream.

✨Raising children.

The greatest heroes and warriors throughout history understood this. They committed themselves to their purpose, their mission, and their goals regardless of how long the journey took, how difficult the road became, or what obstacles stood in their way.

That is why we continue to draw inspiration from them.

Not because they had it easy.

Not because they were fearless.

But because they remained committed to what they wanted and were disciplined in their practices and work to achieving it.

And in a day and age where so many of humanity’s struggles stem from a lack of commitment, honor, accountability, and integrity, what could be more important to cultivate?

👉Commitment to ourselves.

👉Commitment to our healing.

👉Commitment to our relationships.

👉Commitment to our dreams.

👉Commitment to our children.

👉Commitment to the world we want to leave behind.

Not merely wishing. Not hoping. Not talking about it.

…But commitment to what we want….

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And what if we were actually truthful about what we are committed to?

Without guilt.

Without shame.

Without excuses.

Without pretending.

What if we had the courage to admit the things we may spend so much time trying to deny?

What if we became radically honest with ourselves and simply said:

“I am committed to my addictions.”

“I am committed to being single.”

“I am committed to keeping people at a distance.”

“I am committed to toxic relationships.”

“I am committed to being in debt.”

“I am committed to neglecting my health.”

“I am committed to unhealthy relationships.”

“I am committed to cheating on my partner.”

“I am committed to not being there for my children.”

“I am committed to my anger.”

“I am committed to my resentment.”

“I am committed to my excuses.”

And so on and so forth.

Not as a judgment.

Not as a condemnation.

Simply as an observation.

A truthful acknowledgment of where our energy, actions, attention, and choices are currently being invested.

Maybe that is where peace begins…

Not in changing ourselves immediately. Not in fixing everything overnight. But in finally being honest about where we are.

Because when we stop fighting reality, we can finally see it clearly.

And perhaps from that place, we gain something incredibly valuable:

Choice.

The ability to consciously decide whether what we are committed to is actually what we want.

Because if we can honestly admit what we are committed to today, we can begin intentionally practicing commitment toward something different tomorrow.

Maybe then we can begin saying:

“I am committed to healing.”

“I am committed to my health.”

“I am committed to honesty.”

“I am committed to financial freedom.”

“I am committed to healthy relationships.”

“I am committed to keeping my word.”

“I am committed to raising my children.”

“I am committed to becoming the person I know I can be.”

And then, little by little, choice by choice, day by day, we begin aligning our actions with the life we truly want to create.

Not the life we say we want.

The life we are willing to commit to.

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Of course, there are times when external circumstances affect our commitments, our timelines, and our ability to move forward as quickly as we would like.

-Illness.

-Loss.

-Financial hardship.

-Family responsibilities.

-Unexpected setbacks.

All of these things can influence the path we walk.

But they do not have to determine where that path ultimately leads.

They may slow us down.

They may force us to adapt.

They may require us to take a different route than we originally planned.

But if we are truly committed, they do not have to stop us.

Commitment is not about never encountering obstacles.

Commitment is about continuing despite them.

👉The circumstances may change.

👉The timeline may change.

👉The strategy may change.

👉The path may change.

👉And sometimes even the outcome may look entirely different from what we originally envisioned.

But that is part of being human.

Part of life is learning to adapt, to grow, and to evolve as circumstances change around us.

Commitment is not always about rigidly holding on to a specific plan.

Sometimes it is about remaining connected to the deeper reason behind why we started in the first place.

If you are truly committed, your heart remains connected to your values, your purpose, and your intentions, even when the road takes unexpected turns.

✨You learn.

✨You adjust.

✨You grow.

✨You keep moving forward.

Not because the journey unfolded exactly as you imagined, but because what you were committed to was bigger than the specific path you thought you would take to get there.

So, what are you committed to?

The good, and especially the bad?

And….is that what you actually want?

❔Do you want to be single?

❔Do you want to give your time, energy, and body to people who are unwilling or unable to truly value to you?

❔Do you want someone who loves you and is equally committed to building a life with you?

❔Do you want to stop drinking?

❔Do you want to quit smoking?

❔Do you want to be healthier?

❔Do you want to be wealthier?

❔Do you want a family?

Do you want to be a good parent and role ❔model for your children?

❔Do you want to be less angry and resentful?

❔Do you want to feel calmer?

❔Do you want to heal from past experiences?

❔Do you want to trust others?

❔Do you want to live with greater peace?

All of these things are possible.

But….

None of them happen because we wish for them.

None of them happen because we talk about them.

They happen because we commit to them.

Day after day.

Choice after choice.

Action after action.

It simply depends on how committed you are to actualizing them.

Or not.

Because whether we realize it or not, we are all practicing commitment every day.

The only question is:

To what?

And….

If your life is a reflection of your commitments, do you like what you currently see?