The Warrior Spirit in Fatherless Homes: Carrying the Weight, Forging the Path

I never chose the path of raising my two boys on my own.

I am a woman of commitment, and of my word.

I believe in two-parent households, and even more so, in the strength of community - families and people coming together to share in the joys, the responsibilities, and the sacred work of raising our children. But life had other plans.

From the time my boys were babies, I was thrust into the role of both mother and father, provider and nurturer, protector and guide. While their father did his best within his own capabilities, the truth remains: when it comes to raising children, those limitations do not matter. Family must always come first. Presence cannot be sporadic; it must be rooted, dependable, and steady.

And yet, I made a conscious decision when my life changed. I chose not to see myself as a victim. I chose not to allow my boys to become a statistic. I vowed to create a home that was stable, unconditionally loving, abundant with opportunities, and full of joy. I carried both sword and shield - even when my arms were tired, even when the weight felt impossible.

But the weight is real. The exhaustion of being everything at once - the provider working relentlessly, the protector standing guard, and the nurturer holding their pain - stretches a soul to its breaking point. And still, even with all I gave, I could never fully give them the experience of being fathered. That daily absence was a shadow that shaped their childhood, no matter how hard I tried to prevent them from experiencing it.

And here is where honesty must cut through: this is not just a crisis of absent fathers.

More often than not, women too play an integral role in the breakdown of families.

Both men and women carry wounds. Both are responsible for their healing of them.

Both must learn to honor one another again - so that together, they can stand united for their children.

Without this mutual healing, without respect, the cycle of absence and dysfunction will only continue.

Over the past decades, we’ve villainized men - devalued their role in the family, labeled them broken or unnecessary, even dangerous. And in doing so, we’ve pushed them further out of the homes where they are needed most. But fathers are not optional. They are essential - just as mothers are. Children need both roots and wings, and it takes the balance of mother and father, masculine and feminine, to give them that.

The statistics are brutally clear:

 • 1 in 4 children in the U.S. grow up without a father in their home.

 • That’s 17% of children without fathers, compared to only 3% without mothers.

 • Over 85% of incarcerated youth grew up without a father present.

 • And nearly 90% of homeless and runaway children come from fatherless homes.

These are not just numbers.

These are lives.

These are families. These are the consequences of a world that pretends fathers don’t matter.

And yet, in the midst of this, I see resilience. I see it in my boys. Their path has not been easy, but they are growing into remarkable young men - creative, courageous, determined. They have inherited the warrior spirit: the strength to keep standing, to keep creating, to keep loving even through absence and pain.

This is what the warrior spirit calls us to:

To face brutal truths with courage.

To heal our own wounds so we do not pass them on.

To honor one another as men and women.

To rise for our children, not just as individuals, but as families, as communities.

Yes, fatherlessness leaves a void. But it does not have to dictate destiny.

With truth, healing, and the warrior spirit, our children can still grow wings strong enough to fly - so that they inherit not our brokenness, but our strength and our love.