The Alchemy of Pain

Have you ever held someone? I mean, have you ever REALLY held someone; their darknesses, their weaknesses, their mistakes, their anger, their sadness, their guilt, and their shame?!

I once desperately tried to hold someone I loved more than I have ever loved anyone in my life before – but in the end, I failed; not for lack of want or lack of love, but for lack of my own ability and understanding at the time.

You see, I needed to learn how to hold myself first *unconditionally* through all of my own darknesses, weaknesses, mistakes, anger, sadness, guilt, and shame, before I could even begin to understand how to do that *unconditionally* for someone I loved in return.
I had to know what it felt like to fight fiercely for the better parts of myself, parts that were tarnished and buried deep inside the walls of misunderstanding and deception, before I could know what it meant to truly see through the tarnished and buried parts of someone else, let alone hold them as they (too) learned how to fight their way back to the heart of who they are.

No matter how “strong” you think you are, no matter how much you love someone, the truth is; if you can’t hold yourself with compassion, kindness, forgiveness, and grace – right now in all your wounded glory – you can’t hold it for those you love either.
That, my friends, is the true alchemy of emotional pain and suffering – to be held in such peaceful understanding, knowing that the root of YOU has and always will be perfect; even as you fight to find your way back home.

You deserve to be held. And you deserve to hold others.
But most importantly, you deserve to hold yourself in loving truth.

Why? Because you, dear Warrior, are more than your darknesses, weaknesses, mistakes, anger, sadness, guilt, and shame.
You are worth the alchemy of your pain.